


Don't Do This

by InDarylWeTrust



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: AU, Angst, Be gentle, Depression, Kissing, M/M, One Shot, Self Harm, Spirits, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, Violence, first fic, the ending is corny tbh haha
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-29
Updated: 2013-07-29
Packaged: 2017-12-21 17:05:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/902743
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InDarylWeTrust/pseuds/InDarylWeTrust
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis Tomlinson's life has been nothing but horrible. Harry being his only life line. But what happens when that life line gets cut off.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't Do This

**Author's Note:**

> The is my first one shot so please I beg of you be gentle, I have posted this on wattpad before so no this is not stealing and is in fact my one shot.

Louis Tomlinson and Harry Styles seemed like the perfect couple, but is really any couple perfect? They have been dating for two years, both struggled with abuse and they each had there own ways to cope. Harry used all kinds of drugs to lessen the pain, while Louis liked to self-harm telling himself that he was cutting away the pain.

But soon they found something even better to cope with and that was each other. 3 months into the relationship Harry thought to go to a 30 day rehab to stop using drugs. Louis however took a bit longer but after 8 months he stopped filling the relief from cutting and instead found it in Harry.

They were always smiling and holding hands, ignoring the dirty looks and slag comments from there fellow classmates and instead focused on each other, there relationship was more important. Even though most people did not like there relationship they did have a few close friends Zayn, Niall and Liam that understood and supported them. They even made a couple name for them Larry Stylinson. Harry and Louis thought it was silly, but sweet nonetheless.

See, now Harry was starting to not appreciate Louis' love anymore. Clams that he doesn't feel a 'spark' when he kisses him anymore, or when there snuggled in bed cuddling after a heated moment. Doesn't wanna be tied down to one person. He blames his age, a teen his age gets bored after a while right? Maybe in a few years when he's more mature they can start fresh and that spark will be there again, this time staying. For now though his careless attitude is getting the better of him and feels like its time to end things. Louis deserves someone right now that will care for him like Harry has. Harry feels like he can't give him that anymore.

Harry stands up from where he was sitting on the kitchen table finally finishing his book report, that was actually due yesterday, but since there teacher was out sick he had an extra day to do it. He looks at the clock, eyes widening a little at the time, the bus will be here any minute and he knows that the bus driver will not wait for him. He quickly grabs his paper and shoves in into his backpack not caring what it looks like. Flinging his backpack over his shoulder, he grabs the piece of toast still in the toaster and races off outside where he see's the bus just now stopping at the bus stop. Harry gives an inwardly sigh of relief and climbs in going into the back of the bus, sitting by his friend Zayn who gives him a small smile which he returns.

Louis doesn't ride the bus as he drives to school in his own car.

He puts his elbow on the edge of the window, hand on his chin, looking out and enjoying the small breeze the small crack of the window gives off. Harry's morning is always the same he gets up, takes a shower and goes down stairs to make himself breakfast. Lottie his older sister is in college, lucky enough to be able to escape that horrible place people like to call his home. To Harry it was just a house not a home there was nothing about it that said home. His dad right now is most likely on the floor of one of his 'friends' household with a massive hangover. His dad loves to party and drink, Harry likes it when his dad doesn't come home because that means escaping a beating. He has a step mom and sure she pays the bills but other then she's horrible. She hates Harry and actually watches him get beat up without a care in the world and the feeling of hatred is defiantly mutual.

"Mate, are you alright?" Zayn asks, Harry jumps a little startled by the sudden question.

"Hmm?" He asks, now turning his body to face Zayn.

"Its just that you're quite quiet this morning usually not like you."

"Mm, I'm fine Zayn just thinking is all." Zayn half nods and the conversation ends there leaving them in some what silence as you could still hear the other students conversations.

****************

When Louis gets to school, he quickly grabs his books out of his car, shuts and locks it. Not seeing Harry's bus yet is common because Louis always gets to school before him not having to stop at different places like the bus. Pulling his books tightly to his chest, he fast walks to the school entrance. It was a pretty normal looking school a nice boring white and blue color to match there football teams jersey's. Almost to the entrance Louis tries his hardest to avoid the jocks that hang around the front of the school for a bit, but it didn't work as soon as he got close he felt a hard shove on his shoulder which pushed him to the ground making all his books fly open every which way.

"Watch where you're going gay boy!" He hears The Wanted's football caption Max say laughing, which makes the others laugh along with him as they head inside the school.

Louis quickly closes his wide open books and picks the up. One of the books he tries to get stings his arm and he looks to see he got cut on his left wrist kind of reminds him of when he used to-

Louis shakes his head of those awful thoughts 'Never again' he reminds himself standing up and heading into the school building.

When he gets to his locker he mentally sighs as he see's a sticky note on his locker that says 'FAG!' he tears it off crinkling it up and throwing it in his locker once its opened. So far the day has been quite off but hopefully his boyfriend will soon be here to cheer him up. Louis loves Harry with every ounce of his heart and to him that will never change, as long as he has Harry he's happy. When he closes his locker back up he jumps in surprise to see Harry leaning against the locker next to his a unknown expression on his face.

"Oh! Harry I didn't know you were there you scared me babe." He says going on his tiptoes to kiss him, but Harry turns his head at the last second so it lands on his cheek not his lips. Louis looks slightly confused by that.

"Something wrong?" 

"Louis, I need to talk to you." Harry's says right before the bell rings to go to class.

"Sorry Harry, It'll have to wait a bit longer." He starts walking to his class like the rest of the students when he feels a hand grab his arm. He barley has enough time to make a slight squeak noise before he is pulled to the nearest janitor's closest, door closed and locked.

"Da'hell Harry? What's so important that you must tell me to make me late to my first period." Harry takes a deep breathe and looks around the room trying to look anywhere but Louis' eyes.

"Louis, we need to talk about us. " He says and Louis stiffens at those words not liking how they sounded at all.

"Wh-what about us?" He asks rubbing his right wrist with his hand something he does out of habit when he gets nervous or anxious.

"Look, Louis I just think that it may be good for the both of us if we um...took a break." Harry says slowly and as calm as he can trying not to upset Louis to much.

"W-wait what? Am I- did I hear you right yo-you want to bre-break up with me?!?!" Louis starts shaking slightly panicking a little.

"Possibly not for good just for a while to discover some new relationships." But Louis didn't hear that part mind to busy on the words he said before.

"B-but I-I why, why are you, d-did I do so-something-"

"Sssh, Lou calm down-

"CALM DOWN?! CA-CALM DOWN WHY ON EARTH WOULD I BE CALM RIGHT NOW!" Louis screams rubbing his wrist so hard he'll leave bruises.

"I'm sorry Lou, but you deserve someone that will take good care of you, and right now I'm just not that person."

"Please H-Harry don't do this."

"I'm sorry boo but, I have too."

He looks at him sadly one more time before unlocking the door and leaving. Louis is quick to close and lock the door again, sitting in the corner chin on his knees a sobbing and shaky mess on the floor. He misses first and second period and skipping lunch finally having the strength to go to third and fourth period, but he didn't get anything the teachers were saying the whole world was on mute right now as the only thing he could keep hearing was the conversation he and Harry had just had only a few hours ago.

**********

When Louis gets home he goes straight to his room to cry his sad blue eyes out. Harry doesn't love him anymore, no one does. Louis lives alone with his abusive dad you see his mom and dad when they were still together fought a lot and it never ended well. Soon there was one fight that drove his mom right out of there house taking all of his sisters with her. Obviously his mom didn't care enough to take Louis. Living with his dad is utter hell his dad blames him as to why she left and beats him because of it.

Louis looks at his wrist the one that got cut it was still slightly open so he pressed a finger on it and felt a lovely stinging pain, but it wasn't enough Louis wanted more, needed more. He raced to the bathroom shutting and locking it. He opens a drawer and sticks his hand all around it till he finds what he so desperately wanted to find, a razor. He turns over his right wrist clean of no cuts and puts the razor on it. Before he can make the first cut he pauses, Louis hasn't cut for over a year you can't even see the old scars that were once on his wrists anymore. Now all his progress is gone and all for nothing as soon as he makes the first cut sliding the razor across his wrist. He loves the pain feels so good didn't know he missed it that much. Putting the razor a bit under his fresh new cut to make another one he starts thinking of some of his favorite memories with Harry, like first time they got caught making out at school.

Flashback

***Louis was sitting on the bleachers watching The Wanted practice and the cheerleaders practice there routines, although he could care less about what the prissy girls in ponytails and pompoms where doing. He was actually starting to droop off until someone scared him from behind making him take a quick intake of breathe eyes wide till he saw Harry plop down beside him giving a very knowing smirk. Louis lightly hit him on the shoulder but Harry still pretending to get hurt.

"Ow! What was that for!" Harry said in fake pain.

"You know god damn well Styles you know I hate being surprised like that."

"Aww sorry babe although I know just how to make up for it." Harry reaches a hand on Louis' cheek and kisses him, Lou kisses back eagerly making Harry smile and slide his tongue across his lips. Lou's eyes open and he pushes him off.

"Harry for lord's sake not here everyone can see us!" Harry pouts but then it's replaced with a sly smirk on his face.

"Follow me Lou." He says while grabbing Louis' hand giving him no choice but to follow him down the bleachers to where ever Harry was taking them. Walking around until they were behind the bleachers Harry stops and leans in to kiss Louis when he stops him.

"Wait, Harry what if someone see's us!" He protest but Harry just rolls his eyes.

"No one will see us Lou trust me, please?" Louis makes a slight groaning noise before its muffled by Harry's lips this time shoving his tongue into Louis' mouth not waiting for permission. Louis bits Harry's lip for doing so but that only makes Harry's smirk grow. Harry puts his hands on Louis' waist dragging him closer so that both there bodies are touching. But before it can get really heated they both hear shrieking and break away to find all of the cheer leading squad gawking at them will disgusted looks on there face. Apparently they were taking a break and all there water bottles were behind here. Louis blushes bright red when the head cheerleader, Eleanor was her name yelled for the couch to come over. 

They both got two weeks worth of detention for PDA a lot longer then a couple would of gotten if they were straight. But it didn't matter all too much because as long as they were together, they were happy.***

Flashback over

 

Louis sobbing is louder and harder the more he thinks about those memories knowing there won't be anymore to make. He had finished his cutting four fresh and open cuts on his wrists. He runs back into his room sitting on the corner of his bed hands in his face. The self harm felt different then over a year ago, the pain that would normally go away stayed in fact it seemed to get worse. Louis started to get angry, standing up and running his hands violently through his hair. 'Why didn't it work!' he thought as his cuts were still stinging but with just pain no pleasure in them whatsoever. He stopped pacing when his eyes landing on a picture of him and Harry both of them looked so happy in the picture and in made Louis sick to his stomach.

"Why are you so fucking happy!" Louis yelled at the photo. "He doesn't love you anymore and you're stupid to think that he does!" "And you!" He yelled pointing at Harry in the picture. "Why did you do this to me HUH why do you fucking hate me what did I ever do to you!" "You're a fucking piece of shit no one will ever love you, you're unlovable!" This time yelling at himself in the picture.

Louis had angry tears falling down on his cheeks now picking up the photo and throwing in hard up against the wall making the glass frame shatter into tiny little sharp pieces. Louis didn't care though throwing himself on his bed on his stomach and screaming as hard as he could into his pillow. That seemed to calm him down a little but not enough not one bit. He was sobbing into his pillow, he couldn't live like this he had nothing to live for now absolutely nothing and no one would care if he died. Louis has been suicidal for a while now, Harry being the only reason to not commit. His dad would be happy his classmates would be happy his few friends maybe a little sad but there lives wouldn't change and Harry, well Harry hated him so there was nothing stopping him.

Before he cried himself to sleep he asked 'who cares?' and he got the same answer that he would get over and over again....no one.

*******

Shakily getting out of the car Louis grabbed his backpack and closed his car door, his backpack didn't have books in it though, because what he was about to do didn't need books. Louis thought long and hard about what he was planning on doing and almost did it before school but he couldn't no he wanted to do it at school to make sure that no one could just up and forget about him he was so sick and tired of being forgotten or just being a loose thought.

Fast walking to the school entrance he felt someone push him making him loose his footing and almost fall down.

"Watch it faggot!" Louis was so anxious and pissed off right now he finally snapped.

"NO YOU WATCH IT NATHAN YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!" He snapped and quickly went inside missing the shocked looks The Wanted gave him. He walked through the halls making random turns and taking shaky breaths he was panicking, he felt like he was going to past out from the stress. He stopped walking when he saw Harry up ahead talking to Niall and Liam, smiling his big dimpled smile. He looked fine perfectly and utterly fine. That's when Louis couldn't take it anymore he couldn't wait any longer to stop this awful pain eating away at him. Standing right in the middle of the hall people were giving him odd looks but he wasn't looking at them focusing on slowly unzipping his backpack. He shakily searched it before his hand landing on something cold and hard. Pulling it out he puts the gun to his head.

Everyone in the school screams,falling to the floor ducking for cover. Tears prickle his eyes and he lets out a sob. Harry peaks his head up to see who the person is who has the gun and his eyes go as big as saucers when he see's the hand that's holding the gun belongs to Louis.

Harry slowly stands up ignoring the shocked and panicked looks on everyone's faces and begins slowing and calmly walking closer to Louis. He stops when he's only a few feet away.

"Louis, put the gun down!" Harry says sternly but calm. Louis shakes his head violently hand shaking and tightening on the gun.

"Louis-"

"I CAN'T!" He yells this time letting out a broken sob.

"Yes, you can Lou this isn't the right thing to do."

"Yes, it is no one cares about me no one loves me YOU HATE ME!"

"I don't-

"YOU FUCKING BROKE MY HEART!" Harry may have broken Louis' heart but once those words were spoken Harry's heart was broke also.

"I'm sorry Lou I'm so sorry but, this isn't the way to end things, it'll get better."

"NO IT WON'T!" Louis' voice cracks and he closes his eyes pausing for a second before speaking again. "Not for me it won't it will never get better Harry you hear me I can't live with this much pain I-I can't cope with the pain!" Harry's crying now tears falling down on his cheeks.

"Please, please Louis don't do this!" 

"I'm sorry Harry but, I have to." And with a pull of a trigger Harry lost his one true love forever.

 

One Year Later....

Harry parks his car by the graveyard grabbing his guitar and a couple of other things along with him. He sighs this place is very gloomy and unwelcoming but its the only place where he can be alone with him. Harry walks a distance until he reaches a tombstone that reads, 'Here Lies Louis William Tomlinson, 1991-2010 Rest In Peace.'

He sits down by the tombstone putting his things down with him. Harry's hand reaches out to touch the tombstone tears already prickling in his eyes. Today was the first anniversary of Louis' death, Harry has not dating another boy (or girl) since. He has been struggling with using drugs some days he just can't handle it and needs the pain to lessen, but most days when he thinks about it he stops because he knows that Louis wouldn't want him to be doing this. The only thing stopping himself for taking his life is that it'd be way too selfish he deserves to have the pain and guilt all over his hands. He knew what Louis was going through but he chose to ignore it..that choice was wrong. Not only that but feeling the pain of missing Louis is the closest thing he has to ever being with him.

"Hey there Lou, I hope you're doing okey where ever you are." Harry whispers, he closes his eyes for a minute letting a single tear fall from his face, he takes a deep breath before speaking again.

"I wrote you a song and um, I wanted you to hear it if that's okey with you." He grabs his guitar off the ground settling it comfortably on his lap and messing with the tune for a bit. He lets out a small breath before playing.

Now you were standing there right in front of me  
I hold on, it's getting harder to breathe  
All of a sudden these lights are blinding me  
I never noticed how bright they would be

I saw in the corner there is a photograph  
No doubt in my mind it's a picture of you  
It lies there alone in its bed of broken glass  
This bed was never made for two

 

Harry lets out a painful sob but continues playing.

I'll keep my eyes wide open  
I'll keep my arms wide open

Don't let me  
Don't let me  
Don't let me go  
'Cause I'm tired of feeling alone

 

Harry stops playing to broken to speak now as all that's coming out are sobs. 

"I'm so sorry Lou, I'm so sorry for what I did to you I was stupid and immature." Harry pauses to sadly laugh at himself at how ironic the statement was for he is still stupid and immature. "I will never stop loving you, I hope you know that." He feels the shape of a hand touch his shoulder, he looks up to see that there is nothing there, well of course anyone else right now would see nothing. But Harry knows, he can feel his presence and it makes him smile ever so slightly.

"Hey Lou..." He whispers over his shoulder. Knowing that he's here, he has to finish, he picks up his guitar and continues playing once again.

I promised one day that I'd bring you back a star  
I caught one and it burned a hole in my hand, oh  
Seems like these days I watch you from afar  
Just trying to make you understand  
I'll keep my eyes wide open, yeah

Don't let me  
Don't let me  
Don't let me go  
'Cause I'm tired of feeling alone  
Don't let me  
Don't let me go

'Cause I'm tired of sleeping alone

Right when he finishes a big gush of wind happens making the air roar and the leaves dance in the wind and he knows its Louis and he knows that he has been forgiven and to Harry that's just enough to keep him alive.

Harry grabs a photo of him and Louis out of his pocket along with a copy of his song lyrics at the top of the page it says 'Always in my heart.' He places both on Louis' grave and rubs the stone one more time.

"Goodbye Louis." He says picking up his guitar, leaving the graveyard for the first time...happy.

**Author's Note:**

> I would love to know what you thought of this so comments are greatly appreciated as well as Kudos!! Happy reading my lovely people!


End file.
